When I was five months pregnant a routine ultrasound showed that the child I carried was a girl. For two days my husband and I tossed around girl names trying to decide what to name her. Little did we know that within two days our lives would be turned upside down.

My Ob/Gyn called me on Ash Wednesday. It was 10:00 p.m. and with such a late call I knew it was not good. He explained there were problems. Something about water. Something about blood tests tomorrow. Something about seeing a specialist. When I got off the phone I told my husband something was wrong with the baby, although I didn't know what.

The next day I went for the blood work. The secretary at my doctor's office said "I am so sorry". It was then I realized this was a not a good thing.

The specialist called the following day. He explained that I had a condition called fetal hydrops. There also seemed to be a problem with the heart. I asked what can we do. He explained it was fatal. There was no cure. I said there must be something. He said the only hope was prayer. He stated that they would like to repeat the ultrasound in their office on Tuesday. For the next few days we lived our lives in a daze. The following Tuesday we drove 2 ½ hours to the specialist office. We met with a geneticist who explained fetal abnormalcies. Usually when fetal hydrops is present it means there is a chromosomal abnormalcy. I could not believe it. I refused to believe it.

Next we were taken into the ultrasound room. Within minutes the previous ultrasound results were confirmed. This was fatal. A "lethal anomaly" we later read in the letter from the specialist. Most likely caused by a chromosomal abnormalcy. The heart problem was complex. They suggested an amniocentesis. I asked if it would make a difference with the prognosis.

They said no. We declined. They told us our options. Abort or wait for her to die. She would most likely expire in the womb. If she should make it to term, she would not survive outside the womb. We took the literature home with us. I was in the 22 week and had until the 24th week for a D & C. I considered it for a second, but she moved inside me. How could I kill her.

I loved her. I chose to wait it out. And wait it out we did.

For the next eight weeks, I felt her move inside me. Each morning, as my husband would hop into the shower I would lay there and whisper, "Mary—the name we decided on–are you still with me?" And she would hear me because at that moment she would choose to move inside me. My eyes would swell and I knew I could begin this day because it was not the day she would die. This went on each and every day for eight weeks. It was explained that with Fetal Hydrops I ran the risk of developing toxemia. Each week I would go to the doctor. A normal exam. We had spoke the first week about what to do. Did I want to hear her heartbeat? Of course I did. So the usual. Weight, blood pressure, anything abnormal they would ask----and of course, listen to her heartbeat, 125 one week, 95 the next, 115 the following. For eight long weeks. Finally, I told my doctor I need to know. She is still moving inside me. I need to find out what is going on. He agreed. He sent me us to Ann Arbor. A four hour drive. We were the first appointment in the morning.

The ultrasound tech asked why were there. I gave her copies of the previous two ultrasounds. She began a preliminary exam. She said she needed to find the doctor. She did not see fetal hydrops. It had resolved.. My husband and I prayed. I told my husband that if this was a miracle I had promised Jesus I would tell the world. He said okay—but we were not going on Oprah!!! The technician re-entered, followed by the doctor and a resident.

He began his exam and stated the fetal hydrops had indeed resolved. The heart condition as he could see it was repairable and an echocardiogram would confirm this. However, there were indications of fetal abnormalcies. This child would indeed be born and survive!!! A true miracle. The happiest day I have ever experienced. They suggested an amnio again. We decided to do one to prepare us for what was ahead. A week later we were told Mary was Down Syndrome. I allowed myself a moment of tears and then the big picture hit. This was a miracle. She was not suppose to survive and she had. She was meant to be part of our lives and we rejoiced.

Two months later Mary was born. However, we were told she was missing her anal opening and was flown to Ann Arbor for surgery for a colostomy. Three months after that Mary survived open heart surgery. We had been told she had a ventricle septum defect (a hole in her heart) only to find out the day of her surgery she had 4 more holes. Mary spent two weeks in the hospital.

We "lost" her twice. It was up and down. But my baby is a real trooper.

She is stronger than her parents at times and pulled through only to have another surgery two months later to "make" her anal opening. We spent 5 days in the hospital then. Three months later exploratory surgery on her throat (narrow airway) and two months following that surgery, her colostomy was reversed. Five surgeries. Five times leaving our 4 year old and 9 year old.

Would we go back to that day we were offered to terminate this pregnancy if we knew then what we were up against?? NOT A CHANCE. We have learned so much in these last two years. We have learned that miracles happen. We have learned about unconditional love. We have been so blessed. I am not going to tell anybody this has been a cake walk. But when I look at my daughter and I see her beautiful blue eyes and her smile that will knock your socks off and her laughter that is the sweetest melody you have ever heard, I know I would do this again for this blessing. Sure there may be health problems, sure there will be learning disabilities, but there will also be hugs and kisses that I would not trade for the world.